Why choose a celebrant?
A friend told me recently, that she was disappointed at a recent register office ceremony, knowing the couple very well she was expecting a beautiful, personal and romantic ceremony and she felt that it was more about law and terms and conditions, rather than about the happy couple.
“If you are going to spend time, effort and money on a beautiful dress, decorations, and amazing food, why is the ceremony the last thing that is thought about”? (Permission granted from her)
And, I understand what she meant. It should be the most important part of your day, and it can be as special as the two of you, if you wish it to be.
Many couples believe it has to be either a church ceremony, or civil ceremony at the registrars. Or the only alternative, to pay additional costs to have the registrar attend the venue of choice. Again, having a registrars scripted ceremony.
Yes, getting married has to have a notification period and you have to lawfully be free to marry. But that is not all that marriage is about, is it?
Celebrant led ceremonies are not a new thing, however, when wedding planning, it isn't something you gain information about from a registrar or venue. Wedding law has not been updated since 1836. So as a registrar they have no obligation to tell you more. Venues pay fees to hold licences for a registrar to attend, again with little insight as to what your options really are.
It is going through parliament at the moment to update wedding law to make it more inclusive. https://www.law.com.gov.uk/project/weddings if you want to know more, and perhaps help bring it to the mainstream.
Whilst celebrants do not want to bash registrars, or the law, at present it is just a simple case of, they can not do what we do, and we can not do what they do. There has to be change. The world is evolving, we are evolving, law has to evolve with the times. Would you agree?
So, if church is not for you, and you want to think outside the box. Thoughts of a dreamy, romantic ceremony, an abstract, fun ceremony, let's say a ceremony that reflects you both perfectly without restrictions on what you can and cannot have!? Then a celebrant-led ceremony may be the answer.
Why? Because you can have your cake, and eat it! You can have the ceremony you wish, whenever, wherever, and however you like.
How?
You still need to attend the registrar for a brief legal ceremony at minimal cost, (usually £46) something that will eventually change. Let’s say, this is “signing paperwork”. The same as registering a birth. It is usually called “You + 2” The two of you attend an appointment with two witnesses. You can make a day of it and wear a special outfit, and go for lunch afterwards, call this “wedding ceremony preparation”, or you can attend in your jeans. The choice is yours.
Then you can hold your bespoke tailor made ceremony when you want. Save the ring exchange and vows for, what we call “the main ceremony”. It can have some religion, no religion, mixed faiths, include cultural symbolic rituals, and any kind of music, poems, verses, own vows, involve family, children, and friends and pets.
Yes, really, whatever you want! As an independent wedding celebrant I can help your dreams come true. Because you have completed “signing paperwork” you do not need to hold your ceremony at a licensed venue either, the legal requirement has been done.
Of course, in due time, we hope that this will change, and we will be able to complete the legalities as well. To make the whole process simpler.
It is also worth noting that the fees for registrar to attend your venue, or a celebrant are surprisingly similar. See my next blog for more details.
I hope you have learnt some important and helpful information in my blog.
I'd love to chat more to answer any questions and make sure you have all the details to make an informed decision. If you know all your options you can make the right choice for you both. Thanks for reading. :-)